Don't Take The Substance
Friday night I strolled into the Regal movie theater. Coming down from the highs of Halloween night where I saw so many "Substance" themed costumes, I decided it was finally time for me to see the film everyone was talking about. To my shock and horror, no one was talking about "The Substance" for the right reasons. Being that everyone I knew had positive things to say about this dumpster fire of a film.
To be fair, no one told me it was a body horror film. If I had known this fact prior, I would've gladly stayed at home. According to urban dictionary, body horror is a sub genre of horror "for film, books, comics, etc. – in which the main feature is the graphically depicted destruction or degeneration of a human body or bodies." Furthermore, nowhere in any trailer or commerical was the film's genre mentioned, so I'm calling out "The Substance" for misleading advertising.
The concept of the film seemed okay, although done before: a washed up Hollywood starlet takes a substance to become younger. We've seen this subject tackled in "Death Becomes Her" and even "The Twilight Zone". Supposedly, a commentary on the ridiculous beauty standards women are faced with, "The Substance" fell flat with its grotesque images and shaky camera work, including insane closeups that made me nauseous.
Luckily I didn't eat anything before seeing "The Substance" and I truly wondered if that would be a mistake and if I'd be hungry for the whole two and a half hours. If I had eaten, I'm sure my meal would be all over those theater seats. Apparently star Demi Moore told the crowd at Cannes Film Festival not to eat before seeing it. Jeez....
I read one review that said the director must have had a needle fetish. Funny, but quite possible, since there were insane closeups of Demi Moore (as the fictional Elizabeth Sparkle, a star who gets fired from her TV show for turning 50) giving herself endless shots. Pricks and pokes, and closeups of skin penetration. Yuck. Not to mention Margaret Qualley literally coming out of Moore as her younger self, cracking her spine in half. And silly me thought it would just make the woman younger. No, it creates a double that the older one has to switch with every other week. NO EXCEPTIONS. I will say, on a positive note, the casting of the two leads was perfect as Qualley could pass as Moore's daughter.
The film definitely lures you in with a beautiful color scheme and cinematography, plus allusions to classic horror films like "Psycho" and "The Shining". Then, that beauty is completely destroyed with the film's graphic gore and obscene amount of butt shots. For a movie allegedly telling us not to objectify women, it does just that. And so much nudity that it takes away and even distracts the audience from the story: why I don't particularly like nudity in film. The great Michael Caine once said, "[as actors] you are controlling what the audience is doing, where they're looking. The moment you take your clothes off, you've lost them."
The younger Elizabeth Sparkle, calling herself Sue, starts to drain the life from the edler, until she's left as a just that, a literal old woman. Having had enough, Sparkle attempts to terminate her younger model. Enraged, Sue kills Sparkle. Now, I'm a simple girl. I don't require much for the films I consume. "Longlegs" was my favorite film of the year and what the hell was even that. But having a five minute scene of a beautiful young woman beat the absolute shit out of an old lady (Moore in prosthetics)...what does this say about how society looks at the elderly? That they're worthless and should be taken out? And I mean it was gory! I had to look away. So much blood and seeing the older Sparkle lying there helpless, I nearly burst into tears. I am reminded of the Weeknd's music video for 'Gasoline' from 2022. Honestly it's quite shocking how similar his vision was to this film. "The Substance" is so original...
Yes, I know his video is a metaphor for mortality and trying to cheat death, but if we take it literally, all I'm seeing is old people getting brutally attacked. Sparkle is only 50, what does that say about women like Meryl Streep, winning Oscars in her 60s, or Rita Moreno still making films at 92. Betty White was viewed by the world as a national treasure before she died, a month away from turning 100! I undestand what "The Substance" was trying to do, but with the absolute GROSS out factor, no one will be talking about its meaning. Frankly, I found it a little insulting to call this a feminist film. Feminism should be about uplifting women not dragging them down, no matter the age. No one needs a shock lesson in how women are mistreated by Hollywood. Okay, maybe they do, but I don't think anyone needed to see Margaret Qualley pass a chicken wing out her belly button. Yeah, that really makes me think about the wage gap. I really needed to see Demi Moore's back puss in order to remember that time Maggie Gyllenhaal was fired off a film at 30 something, classified as too old to play a love interest of a man in his 50s. Why God why?!
A more stomachable visual that get's the point across in about five minutes would be from Melanie Martinez's "Mrs. Potato Head" music video.
I also want to address the end form of Elizabeth or Monstro Elisasue. As Sue starts to deteriate, she attempts to create another version of herself with the leftover substance, which is strictly warned as a not to do on the bottle. What comes out, is a Elizabeth, Sue hybrid. In my opinion, having a deformed version of what Elizabeth used to be felt ableist, with an audience of people screaming and calling her a freak that needed to be killed.
Was this film supposed to be calling out how ableist society is and how it treats those with deformities? Because if so, doing it in the final ten minutes of the film fell flat. And someone's disability is not your Halloween costume.
This part of the film did not sit right with me. Oh and having a random boob pop out of her body and fall to the ground, then the audience being soaked in blood...what drugs did director Coralie Fargeat take?
One positive little detail from "The Substance" was its soundtrack. I loved the score. But a good score can't save a bad movie.
After the film was over, I looked at myself in the mirror. As someone who has struggled with eating disorders and body dysmorphia, "The Substance" made me feel grateful for my "imperfections" and "flaws". I felt grateful for every pimple, wrinkle, and stretch mark because, that's what makes us beautiful and we are all beautiful. Then, I thought about why was I grateful. Because I'm not as old Elizabeth? I will be someday, God willing.
My mother passed away when she was only 61. I'm trying to make it so that I'm old and grey and experience the milestones my mother always wanted to. She wanted more than anything to be there on my wedding day and to one day be a grandmother and those dreams were cut short. Being old is not a crime. It's a blessing.
To those who have seen it, what message did you take away from "The Substance"?
I for one, wish I could go back and be who I was before I saw this film. But maybe I can save whoever is reading this review. DON'T TAKE or see "THE SUBSTANCE".
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